Caution! Controversial Subject Ahead ➛ ADHD: Having A Disability Mindset

Warning! This post raises a lot of emotions, questions and controversy! I know this because I have struggled mightily with this subject and I feel strongly that we need to discuss this openly and honestly.

So hear me out!

When we’re looking at ADHD, I think that it is important to have a “Disability Mindset”.

Here’s why . . .

Many people look at the struggles and outward actions that are related to ADHD as simply behavior issues. As a result, many people use traditional behavior techniques to try and keep these neuro-divergent kids “in line”.

There’s a fundamental problem with this approach.

Behavioral theory states that if I reward behavior that I want, the child will do more of that behavior and if I reprimand or negatively consequence behavior that I don’t want, the child will do less of that behavior. This theory makes the assumption that the child has control over their behavior and will therefore comply with the positive and negative consequences.

For children that have neurodivergent brains, they don’t have control over all of their behavior. So implementing consequences does not help drive behavior, it simply discourages the child.

So if behavior theory doesn’t work, then how does the disability mindset differ?

With a disability mindset, parents, teachers, caregivers have to tease apart what behaviors and struggles are due to the brain wiring issues (the neurodivergent disability) vs. which behaviors are truly due to willful kids! This is the main reason that a disability mindset is important!

To reprimand a child for a behavior that his or her brain is not able to do without support, is to add a level of discouragement that is unnecessary!

Children are intrinsically good and generally want to please you and do what is expected. If their brain wiring is not helping them do the behavior that is expected, then they are faced with a dilemma around why they can’t do it. When faced with this dilemma, most of the time they draw the conclusion that they are “broken” in some way. This leads to discouragement, self-esteem issues and ultimately identity issues. The long-term outcomes of these issues are often very dire.

Conversely, when children’s disabilities are understood and their brain wiring struggles are normalized and addressed as things that we need to understand and work to problem solve through, then they are able to build grit, perseverance and ultimately learn to advocate for themselves in what they need to learn, grow and thrive.

A disability mindset doesn’t mean that we resign ourselves to a lifetime of struggle and limitations. It means that we seek to understand how our brains and bodies work and identify our strengths and struggles realistically so that we can put in tools, tricks and hacks to bolster the struggles so the strengths can be exploited and the individual’s awesomeness can shine through!

If you want to understand more about ADHD and what behaviors are impacted by this disability, join us for a full day of education on what ADHD is and how to deal with it with with yours truly along with demonstrations on the implementation of moveMindfully techniques with Kathy Flaminio!

Click here for more information.

Judy Richardson-Mahre, MA, ADHD-CCSP
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
ADHD Expert & Coach
Parent Coach
Educator
612.930.3903